I'm a ninja, but worshiping music.
Hi there, this is Adam Buxton.
Hey, this is Joe Cornish.
Welcome to our new show.
It's very exciting because it's new in two extraordinary ways.
It's new as in this is the beginning of the whole series of monthly shows.
Yeah.
And it's also about new music, Joe Cornish.
Unsigned bands.
That's right.
Unsigned bands, unsigned talent, that massive kind of crowd of people who are unacknowledged by the industry.
Oh, I hate the industry.
I hate the industry.
The establishment, Adam.
You know what?
I hate the establishment even more than the industry.
Do you?
Yeah.
And if there's one thing I hate even more than the industry and the establishment, it's the man.
I hate the man as well.
I want to stick it to him.
I want to stick it to him as well.
Well, using this show, we might be able to help do that.
If you want to find out more about how to contribute to this programme and get your track played on it, if it's sufficiently extraordinary and mind-blowing, of course, then go to www.coke.com forward slash music.
And of course, if you visit coke.com forward slash music, you can also link into iTunes and download a selection of podcasts from all around Europe.
And you can email us adamandjoe at cokemusicpodcast.com as well.
So what's going to happen in this show?
We've got three A&R guys from three different countries in Europe.
What is an A&R guy, Joe?
An A&R guy is kind of a music industry, kind of a expert, a guy that goes around looking for unsigned bands and has the power to sign them.
So A&R would stand for amazing and rich?
Absolutely correct.
Good.
So these three panellists, they'll be from different countries each month, will play us the latest and best unsigned bands from their territory.
Sounds excellent.
We're gonna listen to them.
Yeah, we're gonna chat about them Yeah, and then we're gonna decide which ones we like and which ones we don't and then we're gonna Track down the people who've done the one we don't like and cut one of their fingers off No, would we actually cut a finger off?
Yeah, if we didn't like the track
Yeah.
That seems extreme.
And then the tracks we do like, we're gonna give the lead singer an extra finger.
Wow.
We're gonna sew it onto the hand of the band that we do like.
So listen, folks, you could end up, if you've got a band and you're unsigned, and when I say unsigned, I mean, you can't have signed anything.
No, not even a cheque.
Not even a cheque.
Certainly not an autograph.
You know?
And if you've been using your signature, I'm sorry, you can't, you can't play.
But if you're completely unsigned, you might get
extra finger and imagine the improvement in your guitar playing you'll be able to do whole new chords that's right with an extra finger now some of the promises we've made in the last few minutes are false promises but listen just trust us you're gonna hear some good music and that's the main thing
Well, we've been joined by Eddie Temple Morris now, he's an old friend of ours, a voice that's familiar to millions, if not billions of people around the world, and intimately connected with all that's great about music.
Eddie is our British A&R man.
Eddie, you've been listening to all the latest unreleased music in the UK and you've come up with something, right?
It was easy this time.
I've basically come up with my two favourite demos.
Dead Kids, my absolute favourite unsigned band.
Why do they have to name themselves with these unpleasant names?
They always have such unpleasant names.
That's such a dad thing to say.
My girlfriend's dad said, that's such a shocking name, do you think they should change it?
What's wrong with Fun Kids?
Or Sport Kids?
What would be wrong with that?
This is a band made up of some quite, sort of reasonably well-known people from other bands, right?
Yeah, they are an unsigned band, but who are better than the sum of their parts.
And the sum of their parts are very impressive.
On drums, they have Sebastian America, who's in the hardcore band from Washington, D.C., called Trans Am.
And Kieran Pepper from the Prodigies live band is in it.
And Michael Frankel, who's one of the best lead singers I've ever seen, used to be in this band called Sona Phareek from East London.
Uh, who else?
There's this guy called George who plays keyboards and guitar, who was in the first, uh, in the live incarnation of Baby Shambles.
He can't just be called George, he's gotta be called something like George Shazam or... He's called George Mc-something-or-other, but I can't remember, he's Scottish and I can't remember his name.
Yeah.
And then, uh, they have a bassist called Adam, another surname I can't remember, who plays bass for Roots Maneuver.
Adam Explosion.
So what's this track called, Eddie?
This track is called Fear and Fluoride.
It's about paranoia and fear of computers and the government putting things in your water and putting things on your PC and on your laptop.
The government.
That's what they're doing, isn't it?
Yes, it is probably what they're doing.
They're filling a lot of their time with, yes.
Joe hates the government.
I hate the government.
I like them.
You're a fan of the government, aren't you?
I'm not saying which government I hate.
I just hate the government.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, should we have some music?
Yeah, dead kids now.
So there you go, that was dead kids.
That was good.
That was amazing, man.
That was melting my mind.
What was that Japanese girl saying at the end there?
Japanese girl was somebody that the band met in Yosushi, somewhere near Old Street.
And they, I mean, if you've seen these people, you wouldn't want to go down into a dark room with them.
What, Japanese people?
No, not Japanese people.
That wasn't a racist comment.
If you've seen the dead kids, they're not the kind of people who you would take home to meet your mum for Sunday lunch.
And what was going on at the beginning?
There was loads of weird samples at the top of that track?
Yeah, well spotted.
A lot of the Deadkidz stuff.
It's kind of saturated with Michael, their lead singer, recording stuff on his phone.
He basically got this new phone about a year ago.
It was almost fetishistic.
He got so into it, he just basically recorded everything.
that happened in his life.
People in the street, whatever happened, he would just record noise.
A lot of the samples, if you could call them that, well you can, on the dead kid's record, is stuff like that.
He broke his arm leaping down some stairs at a party.
One of his party tricks, he's just leaping from the top of the stairs, landing at the bottom.
Tiny bit drunk.
Under the influence.
Tiny bit too titty.
A little, a little.
I think he refused to have painkillers when they took the pins out of his arm.
Oh shut up.
I do that.
Really?
You look like the kind of man who does that.
I love pain.
And he recorded the sound of these pins coming out of his arm.
And that's putting me off it now.
But it's got a really unique sound, hasn't it?
Because it's got a sort of dirty electronic bass, but live drums.
It's sort of mixing up ravey sounds with indie sounds.
Well, that is very astute of you.
It's almost as if somebody told me that.
It's almost as if somebody told me that before we started recording.
Alright Eddie, so what's your second track you've chosen?
another new totally new unsigned band called devil's gun and it's another demo that i loved to play on the radio last year and the reason i've chosen this is because it's just been remixed by possibly my favorite remixers in the world these guys they're called the breakfasters breakfaster spelt the cool way with a z not not the breakfasters not the break yeah exactly yeah i did i did uh you know i did question whether they were called the breakfasters
Just do it, have some Razz Crispies and do a remix.
They're the Breakfasters, man, you know.
And they're not called Snap, Crackle and Pop.
Sadly not.
Anyway, keep talking.
But yeah, they've remixed Raising the Beast, and the Breakfasters, they would be described as breaks music, and it's kind of this like 136 beats per minute, main room, peak time kind of bomb music.
It's like that gets everybody dancing.
I totally, hand on heart, love everything that the Breakfasters have done.
We should give
it a listen.
Yes, we should.
That was Eddie Temple Morris with us before.
Thanks a lot for coming in Eddie.
He's an extraordinary man, he knows a great deal about music and he's very attractive and he's ludicrously good looking.
And now it's time for some music news with Jazz Level.
Put it in the loft, it's Music News Time.
Festival season is upon us once again, and the plethora of musical riches has never tasted so dangerous.
This week, Monty Park in Depresta will be the venue for the medium-sized Field Festival, which sees Junkie in the Wilderness headlining the Angst FM stage on Saturday night.
Earlier in the day you can also catch Mungo, The Delia Smiths, Boobtube, Mr The Grill,
Hanesh Tottywhistle, and of course, the mighty Printer Not Online.
Their latest album, I'm the Earth and You're Hurting Me, has just shot straight to number 8 in the Netbag Top 100.
Spatchcock.
Lead singer Tom Whiffle said that he was excited about the festival when he spoke to us earlier, but did admit to a few slight misgivings.
I like the festival, but it's scary.
And if you find that your luck bucket's got a hole in it when it comes to getting tickets for medium-sized, fear not.
We're giving away 128 pairs of tickets to the first 1,000 people who can answer this question.
Les Futon came out of retirement this year to play his classic album, I Can Still Smell You, in its entirety, with the help of which all-girl quintet?
Was it Jane, Jane, Jane, Amelia, Tina, The Broken Hoover, or The Women 6?
Get texting, and I'll catch you in the VIP toilets.
Winfarm.
There you go, that was Jazz Level with the latest music news.
Yeah, you heard it here first.
Now, Joe, I think it's time to hook up with one of our international correspondents, is it not?
Yeah, I think it's time to go over to Germany, where our A&R man, Markus, is going to tell us a bit about some of the unsigned bands that he's discovered this month.
There we go, so those are our two tracks from Germany.
The first one was by Leash, and it was called Don't Wanna.
I don't wanna.
Do you wanna?
Not really.
No.
You used to keep me warm, today I freeze again.
Do you know what it reminded me of?
What?
Was like a kind of Bond theme from the early 90s.
Like maybe if A-ha had reformed in the early 90s instead of recently.
That might be more a reflection of your limited knowledge of German music.
That's true.
I've just got a problem with people who say, tomorrow.
Yeah, it all goes a bit Gary Neumann.
Mmm, which is no bad thing.
I enjoyed the sort of rhythm that seemed to be done with a comb on someone's teeth at the beginning.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, I liked it.
But you know what, I preferred the second one, President.
Yes.
That was sung in German.
I think it's better when bands sing in their native language, mother tongue, you know.
And that track was, the title translates as Friend, Come to Berlin.
it was a little bit uh a little bit dance you know a little bit kind of uh gay sounding uh a little bit like a poppy gay man dancing in a kind of a cool club
just say hey friend come to Berlin we'll have some fun it'll be like a little bit gay it's an authoritative band title isn't it president you don't argue with the president no absolutely you're not gonna argue with the president and he's it's an order he's giving as well friend come to Berlin yeah how would you style these these bands Joe Cornish what kind of look would you see for them well that's an interesting question what should we start with leash
Yeah.
I mean, I definitely have them on leashes.
Yeah.
Spinal tap style, probably.
And dressed as fluffy dogs.
Do you reckon?
Yeah, but seen from a distance.
Like an enormous distance.
Several miles, maybe, so you can't quite work out what's happening.
And still you would dress them as fluffy dogs.
Yeah.
You'd get, they would argue with you.
I bet they'd be so unhappy.
No, they'd be excited.
It's a brilliant idea.
Bands and stylists have a... Well, you know what they'd say?
They'd say, don't wanna.
It is the title of the track, so that makes perfect sense.
What about, what would you do for President?
Well, it might be a little Root One with President, but, you know, I'd have them very nearly naked and put them in leather thongs.
That is Root One.
And a bit like Sieg Sieg Sputnik, I would get the nets from tangerines and I'd put them over their heads and over their chests and stuff like that and around their knees.
And so they'd be covered in these nets, these tangerine nets.
That's a good idea.
You know what I might do?
What?
Is get a picture of George Bush and mutate it so he's an evil monster.
And that would be the cover of the album, maybe?
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, we should say to people as well, if you're ever inspired, this show is about more than just the music in itself.
It's about everything that goes along with it.
If you're ever inspired to write a review of anything you've heard or a gig you've seen, doesn't have to have been something you've heard on the show,
or even design your own album cover art, be it serious or sort of demented, you can email us adamandjoe at cokemusicpodcast.com.
Wow, Skywoods by Irrefutable.
No, it's the other way around, isn't it?
Yeah, the band's called Skywoods, the song's called Irrefutable.
And it's kind of a Radiohead thing that they're doing there, isn't it?
But they're doing it extremely well.
Very well, a very accomplished piece of singing and instrument playing there.
There's a woodblock in there.
There is a woodblock, yeah, just holding down the beat in the middle.
But that sounds good, you know, that's quite emotional and evocative, a tiny bit sort of wimpy, but yet rocky, you know?
You just don't know which way it's going to go, whether he's going to stroke your knee or smack you in the face.
That's right.
I like that.
If I met him at a party, I'd be unsettled.
Because you know, he might smack you in the face and then start crying.
Because he's ashamed of himself.
Exactly.
Like you wouldn't be crying.
That's right.
He would be crying.
He'd snog your girlfriend, maybe even have sex with her, and then try and kill himself on your doorstep.
Exactly.
And where does that leave you?
And he'd leave an mp3 of a song that he wrote about the whole thing.
Called Irrefutable.
And it could be called Irrefutable.
They're good.
They're a good band.
How many people in that band, Adam?
I think that's like a four-piece... You don't know, do you?
No, it's got men and there's a woman in it.
There's men and a woman.
And a woodblock.
Always a good combination and a woodblock.
Well, I'm giving that one two thumbs up.
Yeah?
Yeah, I like that.
Who did it remind you of musically?
Well, it's sort of Radiohead-y, isn't it?
Or Coldplay.
Oh, and Coldplay.
And do you think that's a good gambit, you know, to be a new band and sound quite similar to stuff that's popular already?
Do you think that's a good commercial move or do you think people should be striking out to make a brand new sound?
This is getting quite deep isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, I'm just going to have to go and think about what you've just said.
Yeah, we'll come back to you with more thoughts on that.
Inconclusive.
Oh, my friend Tina has a mop.
Oh, and Dolly has a mop.
Oh, and your mummy has a mop.
And she's going to mop the kitchen with a mop.
That was by Dusted Digger.
Wait, Dusted what?
Dusted Digger.
So it's like a shiny digger?
it's a digger but someone's written clean me on the back window you know it's just a very dusty digger and that track was called pow and that he's a swiss rapper rapping in german now obviously listeners were a little bit crippled because rap is a verbal art and we didn't understand what he was going on about but you know to me as an as a non-rapper yeah that sounded entirely authentic how is that any different from your 50 cent or whoever I like it when they when they go into a different language you know when they go into English
Yeah, they always pop a bit of English.
Bo, let's go me flow.
Yeah.
It sounded almost like a medieval Crunk song.
Crunk?
Yeah, like if Crunk had been invented in the time of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, that's what, I don't know, what the Knight would be called, Knight Dusty Digger would have come up with.
I didn't even know Crunk had been... What's Crunk?
It's all those sort of, you know, emergency sounds.
Okay.
Crunk is... Little John invented Crunk.
Yeah, all that sort of thing, as if there's some sort of public emergency going on, but it's so exciting you gotta dance!
Well, that's it for the show this month, and it's been an extraordinary cross-section of music from across Europe, wouldn't you say, Adam?
Absolutely, yeah, it's weird.
I don't know of any other show, podcast or otherwise, where you can hear such a diverse load of stuff, and I hope you enjoyed at least some of it, if not all of it.
Yeah, and don't forget the show's all about, you know, the community of people interested in this kind of stuff.
And of course, if you want more information on the bands featured in today's podcast, you can visit coke.com forward slash music.
It's basically just a little world for everybody who cares about underground music, unsigned music, right?
Think of it as a little friendly mini music industry with with us sitting in the corner and come and play with us.
We'd love to see you anytime.
We're Adam and Joe.
Thanks for listening, we'll see you next month.
Bye!
Bye!